How You Can Truly Forgive (Forgiveness Part 4)

Text: Matthew 5:44; Matthew 6:15; 1 Corinthians 13:5

Forgiveness is essential, but it is not always easy. Some wounds run deep. Some betrayals cut to the soul. And while you may want to forgive, you may still wonder: How can I actually do it? How can I genuinely let go of the offence, especially when the pain keeps resurfacing?

Thankfully, the Bible provides us with practical, Spirit-led steps to help us forgive, not just with words, but from the heart (Matthew 18:35). Let’s explore these simple yet powerful actions that can lead you from bitterness to freedom.

1. Remember That You Are Also a Recipient of Forgiveness

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

Before we look outward to the wrongs committed against us, we must first look inward. We have all sinned against God. Yet, through Jesus, we’ve received complete and undeserved forgiveness. When you remember how merciful God has been to you, it becomes easier to extend that mercy to others. You're not forgiving because they deserve it, but because you didn’t deserve it either.

2. Pray Genuinely for Those Who Offended You

“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44)

This is one of the most transformative steps. When you pray sincerely for someone who hurt you, something changes - not just in them, but in you. Your heart softens. The bitterness loses its grip.

You don’t have to start with grand, emotional prayers. Begin simply, “Lord, I bless them. I pray You touch their heart. I release them to You.”

Keep at it. Over time, the chains of resentment will break.

3. Ask God to Heal Your Heart and Reveal the Beauty in the Ashes

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)
“...to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness...” (Isaiah 61:3)

God is not indifferent to your pain. He doesn’t overlook your hurt. But He wants to turn it into something beautiful. Ask God to do more than just help you forget the offence; ask Him to show you how He wants to use it. Sometimes, your deepest wounds become the very places God uses to minister to others.

4. Guard Your Mouth—Stop Rehashing the Offense

“Love… keeps no record of wrongs.” (1 Corinthians 13:5, NIV)

Every time you rehearse the hurt, you refresh the pain. Speaking about the offence again and again keeps the wound open and raw. Your words can either foster healing or deepen resentment. Choose silence or speak life. Speak forgiveness even before your feelings catch up.

5. Practice Acts of Love Toward the Offender

“Love your enemies... do good to those who hate you...” (Matthew 5:44)

Love is not just a feeling; it is a decision, a verb, an action. You don’t have to feel warm and fuzzy before you do what is right. Romans 12:20 echoes this: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink...”

Do something kind for the person who hurt you. It could be a text, a prayer, a small act of service, or simply a refusal to speak badly about them. These actions begin to dissolve the walls in your heart.

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:21)

Forgiveness is a prpocess, but God can help you through it

Forgiveness isn’t always instant, but it is possible. With the Holy Spirit’s help, the heart that once felt cold and hardened can become soft again. Your decision to take these small, faithful steps opens the door for God’s healing power to work in your life.

Start with remembering God's mercy toward you. Then pray, let go, love deliberately, and let God do the rest. Forgiveness is not just about setting someone else free, it’s about setting you free.

Nourish Your Spirit