Lie #3: God Does Not Love Me

Lie #3 is similar to Lie #2 but runs a bit deeper. Some people who feel that God is not good to them do not necessarily believe He does not love them. Instead, they may see blessings in others’ lives and think, “Well, God is not smiling on me,” or even say, “I must be God’s favourite child for tragedy.” For many, this feeling is temporary. However, others come to believe that God genuinely does not love them, viewing themselves as “rejects” in God’s sight. They mistakenly assume that God’s love is limited and that, for one reason or another—often a fault they perceive in themselves—God’s share of love cannot extend to them. This belief can be profoundly discouraging, draining their faith and lasting longer than the notion that God is simply not good to them.

It is essential to understand that just as God is inherently good, He is also inherently love. Love is not just something God does; love is who God is (1 John 4:7,16). He is love itself—not merely loving, but the very essence of love.

What is love? John 15:13 tells us, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” Love is the willingness to lay down one’s life, will, desires, and preferences for the sake of another. This love is expressed through the qualities listed in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8—kindness, patience, humility, and always thinking the best of others.

God’s love runs even deeper than this. Looking at the definition of love in John 15:13, we see that God embodies it perfectly. His love—His very being as love—was shown most profoundly through the giving of His life.

To debunk the lie that God does not love you, let us reflect on the nature of God’s love as described in 1 John 3:1a.

The Nature of God’s Love

1. It is Sacrificial Love
   God’s love is sacrificial and gives generously. His love moved Him to sacrifice Himself so humanity could have eternal life (John 3:16), a gift He offered while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8). John 15:13 tells us, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

2. His Love is Non-Discriminatory
   God’s love is all-encompassing; it covers everyone. This includes sinners, as shown in Romans 5:8; the entire world, as declared in John 3:16; the unjust, as mentioned in Matthew 5:45; those who love Him, as noted in Proverbs 8:17; and believers, as affirmed in 1 John 4:10,16.
   Some might wonder about the phrase, “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated” (Romans 9:13). It is crucial to read scripture in context. This phrase appears in Romans 9, which discusses God’s election of Israel as His chosen people. Verses 4-5 describe the privileges given to the Israelites, including adoption, glory, covenants, the giving of the law, worship, promises, the patriarchs, and even Christ, who came from their lineage.

   Verse 6 clarifies that not all who descended from Jacob or Abraham were part of this election. Of Abraham’s two sons, the promise went to Isaac (verse 7). Similarly, of Isaac’s two sons, God selected one child to carry on the promise while they were still in the womb (verses 10-11), not based on their actions or merits but solely on God’s choice. Rebecca was informed that “the older will serve the younger” (verse 12).

   Verse 13 stating that God “loved” Jacob and “hated” Esau illustrates that He chose Jacob to carry on the promise, while He rejected Esau for this purpose. This expression of “love” and “hate” refers not to God’s feelings towards them but to His sovereign choice by grace. Thus, God’s love is non-discriminatory; it is meant for everyone.

3. His Love is Everlasting
   God’s love is eternal. In Jeremiah 31:3, He says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love,” underscoring that His love has no end. Because God Himself is everlasting, so too is His love. Psalm 136:26 proclaims, “O give thanks unto the God of heaven: for His mercy endures forever.” Likewise, Isaiah 54:10 affirms, “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, my unfailing love for you will not be shaken.” Love never fails, as highlighted in 1 Corinthians 13:8, even when prophecies cease, tongues fall silent, and knowledge fades.

4. His Love is Steadfast, Unchanging, Constant, Unwavering, and Unshakable
   God’s love is steadfast and abundant, as Psalm 86:15 tells us. His love spans thousands of generations, as seen in Deuteronomy 7:9, and nothing can separate us from it, as Romans 8:38-39 declares. His love does not change, even when circumstances do (Psalm 117:1-2, Isaiah 54:10, Lamentations 3:22).

5. His Love is Tender
   God’s love is gentle, compassionate, caring, and deeply personal. He loves each person individually and is intentional in that love. Zephaniah 3:17 describes God’s love as delighting in us, calming our fears, and rejoicing over us with songs of joy. Psalm 23 illustrates how, as a shepherd, God cares deeply for each of His sheep. He is invested in your well-being, as shown in 1 Peter 5:7, and He even gave up His life out of love, as expressed in Ephesians 5:25.

   Isaiah 46:4 provides further assurance: “I will be your God throughout your lifetime—until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.”

   Once again, God is in love with you. Do not let anything convince you otherwise.

   For additional insights, explore Philippians 4:19, Proverbs 19:17, Genesis 28:15, Isaiah 43:2, Nehemiah 9:6, Nahum 1:7, Matthew 28:20, Joshua 1:9, Psalm 121, Matthew 11:28-29.

6. His Love is Filled with the Characteristics of Love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
   God’s love endures long; it is patient and kind. It is never envious or jealous, not prideful, not self-seeking, and not resentful. His love does not remember our sins and never fails.

7. His Love Moved Him to Bring a Permanent Solution to Humanity’s Sin Problem
   Out of His great love, God acted to solve humanity's sin issue permanently. As stated in 1 John 4:8, “He who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.” This sacrificial love is shown in John 3:16, “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Romans 5:18 emphasizes, “As by the offense of one, judgment came upon all men to condemnation, so by the righteousness of one, the free gift came upon all men to justification of life.” Even while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). True love, as described in 1 John 4:10, is not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice for our sins. His love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8), and because of His great love, He gave us new life, even when we were dead in our sins (Ephesians 2:4-5).

8. His Love is Unconditional
   God’s love is unconditional, not based on our deeds or failures. Romans 5:6-8 reminds us that if His love depended on our good records, Jesus would never have come to die. Humanity did not deserve God’s love, yet Jesus died for us. Nothing can separate us from God’s love (Romans 8:38-39), and to believe His love is conditional is to deny who He is—Love (1 John 4:7). Saying God’s love is conditional equates Him with man, who is often fickle and untrusting, but God is not like man (Numbers 23:19). God’s love, being everlasting, cannot be limited; otherwise, it would contradict His eternal nature (Jeremiah 10:10, Jeremiah 31:3). God is consistent, as James 1:17 tells us, with “no variableness or shadow of turning.” Malachi 3:6 affirms, “I am the LORD, I do not change,” and Hebrews 13:8 states, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”

9. His Love is Immeasurable and Surpasses Knowledge
   God’s love is beyond human comprehension, as it cannot be measured or fully understood. Some attempt to rationalize God’s love, trying to comprehend why He would give Himself for humanity, like a colleague I once had who said it did not make any sense for someone to pay her sins or be punished for her wrongdoings. But God’s love does not always make sense to the finite mind. Though it is beyond full comprehension, we can still experience it, and experiencing it is more powerful than just knowing about it. When we experience His love, we are filled with the fullness of God, allowing us to live more like Christ in words, thoughts, and actions. Christ abides in us, and we in Him, giving us the strength to demonstrate His love.

10. In His Love, He Corrects Us
    Just as a loving parent corrects their children, God’s love includes correction. As a mother, I sometimes question whether to let my children’s missteps slide or address them, and I usually choose to correct them, scaling my response based on the severity and potential impact on their lives. I do this out of love, wanting them to grow up to be responsible, God-loving adults. I do not correct them simply because their actions upset me, but because I love them. This is even more true with God, whose love is so great that it would be unloving if He allowed us to stay on a path of self-destruction without intervention.

    Hebrews 12 encourages us to embrace God’s correction. In the King James Bible, the word “chasten” is translated from the Greek word paideia, meaning the comprehensive training and education of children. This involves cultivating the mind and morals through guidance, reproof, and at times, punishment (Strong’s Concordance).

    Why Does God Chastise Us?

    1. God chastises us because He loves us and accepts us as His children (Hebrews 12:6).

    2. As our Father, He treats us like any loving parent would, disciplining us for our own growth (Hebrews 12:7-8).

    3. His correction is for our benefit, as He is holy and desires for us to share in His holiness (Hebrews 12:9-10).

    How Should We Respond to Chastisement?

    • Do not despise or disregard it. Chastisement is vital for our spiritual well-being and should never be despised (Hebrews 12:5).

    • Endure it. Though chastisement is not pleasant (Hebrews 12:11), its benefits make the temporary hurt worthwhile. To endure means to persevere and not flee, allowing God to complete His work in you.

    • Stay encouraged. Do not become weary; instead, be strengthened and uplifted in the Lord (Hebrews 12:12-13).

    What Are the Benefits of Chastisement?

    • Chastisement assures you of God’s love. If He disciplines those He loves, and you are experiencing it, you can be confident that you are His child, deeply loved by Him (Hebrews 12:6-8).

    • Chastisement produces good fruit in the form of peace and righteousness for those who have endured it (Hebrews 12:11).

So, when you are facing hard times, do not assume that God has abandoned you. He loves you immensely, and He will be with you until His work in you is complete, revealing the “gold” of a purified spirit.

Nourish Your Spirit